BALANCING ACT: LEADING WITH AUTHORITATIVE CURIOSITY
After I masterfully articulated the super great amazing inspired thing I taught her, I turned to my student and said:
To be honest, I’m still working on it myself. I teach with great authority, but practice with open curiosity.
As a teacher … a leader … It often feels heavily weighted to be in charge of many answers for many people. As if I’ve mastered all the lessons and am here to teach about it from the other side. The reality is that I’m still trying to figure out my life (movement included), much less have some intelligent knowingness about other people’s. As a member of the general public I too rely on authority figures for guidance and answers as I navigate the world. I’m pretty sure most of them (the conscientious ones at least) have a time or few felt the same way about their own answers.
For some these thoughts can stir up feelings of Imposter Syndrome, or ideas of inadequacy and self-doubt, about the validity of their services and roles. It can send potential game-changers into a reflexive mode of defense. It can coax even the most inspired to question their work and relationships. For some leaders and teachers it just freezes us into not sharing our full worth and ideas, because we fear it may not be smart / valid / valuable outside our minds … it’s just a work in progress after all.
ISN’T EVERYTHING THOUGH?
I mean, even science shifts from a little more right today than yesterday, and a smidge less so than tomorrow.
What if it was presented in that way? If some infectious disease researcher was like, “We think we have some good stuff, but we’re not real sure. Anyone wanna try it? Or do you all think we should just wait?”
Likewise, what if after penicillin science decided, “Well, we got that one covered. Done and done!”
Having all the answers one hundred percent solidified is not a necessity for standing in your own authority. (Read that sentence again)
I, however, do believe that cultivating an experience with your own work / being a curious student of your own work / and having the humility to question your own work is necessary. Whether that work is ever meant to be shared with students or subordinates, or was only ever meant as a personal exploration. The willingness to be open to revision and development, but still lead with wisdom, is the mark of authority.
Authority is less about having infallible answers, and more about sincerely sharing your experiences with enough compassion to invite others into curiosity about their own experiences … whether you’re teaching … leading … or just figuring out your life.
HOMEWORK: Let’s explore some Authority and Curiosity Tools.
Strategies for embodying authority
Share your experience rather than an absolute truth. The moment your audience hears it is “suppose to be ____” and they don’t recognize it as their truth, you’ve lost the room. Instead, reframe your message as, “It’s been my experience that ____.” (How might this strategy work in your personal relationships too?)
Share your message via story. Stories allow audiences to enter and buy into your work through the process of self-visualization. They can imagine what it would be like to experience the story. Rather than instructing your student / self to do something, imagine what it would have to look like / feel like / be like to end up at the desired outcome. What choices would have to be made?
Strategies for embodying curiosity
Thoughtful and prudent question asking is a valuable tool. This isn’t question asking for the sake of asking questions. This is active listening turned into action. Let’s expand on the idea from the authority section. “It’s been my experience that ____. Is your experience similar to that, or different? Can you tell me more about that?” The questions are a form of data collection.
Introduce your students or team to your work and then invite them to expand upon, or reframe the work through their lens. For example you might give your client an exercise, and then a couple modification options. When you feel they comprehend the request invite them to deviate from your request to cultivate their own personal experience (personal work) using your work as a reference rather than a restriction.
~ james CRADER
